The temperature crept up into double figures today meaning that I ventured out of the house in something less than a giant hoody and hat. As the seemingly perpetual winter starts to slide away I found myself thinking ahead to the Spring wardrobe sported by the average UK diver and wondering whether there could be a way for UK diving to be a bit ‘cooler’. My next thought was to realise that if you are wondering how to make something ‘cooler’ then you are immediately by default entirely the wrong person to attempt to make that happen. “Cool’ is effortless and natural. If you try to be cool you will fail. If you have a meeting to decide how to make something cooler you will make it much less so. If you use the word ‘cool’ you are not. However as the rest of my hair turns to grey I am not going to let this stop me…
Now first off, in Winter, I don’t care, all bets are off, I just want to be warm so I will happily leave the house in all my undersuits complete with ancient Fourth Element hoody thrown over the top and whichever dive branded hat is currently languishing at the bottom of the stairs. I have been know to queue for the life preserving Costa Coffee at Reading services whilst fully zipped into my BARE SB suit with the faint must of drysuit sock wafting around me.
But now Spring is approaching and we must all collectively think about how we want to portray ourselves as a group when the sun finally comes out. The first step in finding a solution is admitting you have a problem. Take a look through the following list and tick off the items you wear to find out how on-trend you are:
- Fourth Element Hoody (bonus point if it’s old and says ‘Dive Team’ on it)
- Branded Beanie
- One of those Russian style wooly hats
- A novelty hat (ie ‘hilarious’ jester’s hat)
- Trousers that zip off at the knee (bonus points for having actually unzipped them)
- Clogs (Add 10 points for Crocs)
- Wrap around mirrored shades
- A gilet
- A northface style fleece
- Those trainers that aren’t really trainers but aren’t walking boots either. Often brown.
- A T-shirt with some kind of cartoon fish on it.
- One of those dryrobe things that makes you look like a Jawa.
I can check off about 6 of those (no ones going to get me out of skinny jeans and converse, not yet anyway…) but I was thinking that perhaps it’s time to up my game. Specifically I’m thinking about the outfit Prince wears in the Purple Rain video. I believe that the extra time spent in the morning ensuring my cravat is just right will pay off simply by how much cooler I’ll look walking round the dive site. I’m going to be the Beau Brummel of UK diving, just you wait…